Trusting in the Presence of God

Nearly 25 years ago, I can remember feeling that I had the world as my oyster. There was a moment when I was newly married, preaching and teaching all over Southern Ontario leading a growing and fruitful ministry. There was even a little money left in the bank at end of the month instead of month left at the end of the money. I could have been this rich, young ruler. But then it all came to a screeching halt.

On the morning of May 29^th, 1994 my wife had to rush me to the Emergency Room at the Toronto Western Hospital. I had awakened to discover that I was struggling to walk or talk. And so, off we went into the dark. After time in the Emergency room I was told it was the flu and to go home, drink lots and rest. We had two more trips like this to the same hospital and was told the same thing each time, go home, drink lots and rest. So finally, on the Thursday night, a friend took us to the hospital they would go to – Mount Sinai. It was here, in a bed and in front of a doctor and two nurses that I suffered a grand maul seizure.

After questioning my wife, the doctor thought that this was not the flu and I was swiftly admitted to the hospital. As the doctors investigated, it was narrowed done to some harrowing choices: leukemia, a brain tumour, or meningitis. After a couple more days of testing, it was concluded that I had an atypical viral meningitis. And as the days when by, the doctors grew grim and thought that there was little time left for me. In spite of the fact that they could give me medications to knock out the infection, they could not control the swelling.

I do remember times during those three weeks when Nova would come in first thing in the morning and help me to do morning devotions by reading scripture and visits from friends and colleagues who would pray unceasingly for me to be healed. Of these I can remember praying with our upstairs neighbours Captain Henk and Sue Willems who go out to what is now known as the Toronto Blessing and then come directly to my hospital room to lay hands on me and pray. 

It wasn’t until my 21^st day in hospital, when all of the medical measures had been withdrawn and life was allowed to take it course, that the Lord acted. The priest who had married Nova and I (His name is Richard) in May came to visit. The visit was good and it was helpful to see Richard, even if I could not physically see him. I remember vividly the prayer that was offered as he was ready to depart. I remember a hand on my back where the needles had been used to determine that it was meningitis. The hand as hot – but not uncomfortable.

I went from not being able to see or even tolerate light; from hardly being able to hear; from not being to walk that afternoon to the following morning be able to be in my room with the blinds wide open, sitting up, eating my breakfast when Nova walked in. Nova that day encountered one of the doctors who had been responsible for my care noted for her, “Your husband’s case has us baffled. We don’t know why he got sick and we don’t know why he got better.”

I share this not to make myself look great or to look for pity because of what happened. I share it because of what God did in the life of one person and what he continues to in the lives of other people because of that one person. I have been enabled to see what God can do when there is trust, even in the tiniest amounts, in him is in operation.

And for what is it worth, I had been wowed for some time by the Christians who were around me. They had wonderful testimonies of how God broke down all kinds of walls and barriers for them to come to faith because of where their lives had taken them. For a time, I thought myself a puny Christian next to them. The suffering and pain of those days serves a reminder that we are not alone and when things are at their worst. What we need to do is to keep looking to God for his grace and leading in the way that we should go, trusting him to get us there.

Jason+